I Am Irreplaceable

A Question That Changed Everything

I am a 31-year-old childbirth educator. Today, in a class filled with expecting parents, a first-time mother who’s five months pregnant stood up and asked, “If this child grows beyond what can fit in my belly, how will it fit inside? How will I deliver the baby?”

Looking around the room, I saw heads nodding. Most of them had the same question lingering in their minds.

I smiled and asked, “Do you believe God is intelligent?”

A gentle laughter spread across the room as they communicated a ‘yes’ through their body language.

“Since God is intelligent, He plans everything before He bestows an angel onto you as a newborn. A child wouldn’t enter your womb unless it was the ideal environment for their development. A child can only enter your womb when the conditions are perfect for their growth. The very fact that God gave you this child means He believes you have the ability to deliver and parent this child in the right way. That’s why babies come in different sizes and shapes. Each baby is customized separately.”

The discussion ended with an exchange of smiles all around.

The Journey Home

On my way back home after class, those questions kept lingering in my mind. In fact, they took me back to my own childhood.

Why am I me?

How can I grow in my mother’s tummy?

How did I fit there?

How was I born?

Why am I a girl?

Why do I look like this?

Why do I have straight hair?

My Childhood Confusion

As a child, I asked these very questions to my parents. The standard answer I received was: “We were praying in the Ganesh temple and asking for a child, so Lord Ganesha gifted you to us. You descended from the sky and we found you in our arms.”

They thought they gave me clarity. Actually, at that age, it created a lot of confusion. Despite having all these questions in my mind, I could never ask again due to fear of being scolded.

Every time I prayed to Lord Ganesha, it made me feel He was the one who makes babies, sitting somewhere up there. Still feeling perplexed with questions like: Who specified my features? Who specified my gender? Where is His manufacturing unit? I pretended to be cleared of my doubts.

It’s not that my parents were devoted followers of Ganesha—I think when I asked, whichever god came to their mind first, they picked up.

These anecdotes from my life still bring a smile to my face.

The Revelation

As I grew and studied medical science, I understood the science of conception, birth, and development. During my graduation, one day in our growth and development class, my teacher shared something profound:

“You are unique. You are one of a kind. In the entire history of humanity and in the future, there is no one like you and there will never be anyone like you.”

“Is it?” My eyes sparkled with joy. The child within me popped up and said, ‘That means when Lord Ganesha designed me, He kept it in mind that I am irreplaceable. I can only be me.’

I was actually living by outgrowing my childhood, but not the child within me. And my science-graduated adult mind agreed, saying, “Each individual is unique as they have individual DNA compositions and combinations. Even twins will not have the same handprints and footprints.”

The Long Drive That Changed My Perspective

By this time, I had reached halfway home. Today I was so happy that my house is 22 km away from the classroom where I teach. Today I didn’t feel bothered by the traffic or that my car was moving slowly. Everything looked perfect and in sync. I got time to think about myself with a new lens.

With an ecstatic feeling, I hooked onto my thoughts.

If so much about me is unique, that means God worked so hard to make me as ME. Oh! That means I carry a responsibility to live up to the beginning of my being. The very way I live should be unique.

Do I want to live feeling, “Shrreya, if you don’t do it, we’ll get it done from someone else” or “It’s Shrreya—the way you do it, no one else will be able to do it”?

At hospitals where I take classes, can my seniors say, “We are so happy that we got such an awesome person to conduct these classes”? Can every student of mine say, “You will always have a permanent place in our memories as a teacher who could connect so well”?

God has left His mark within my heart and soul. I will do things in such a way that I leave a mark behind.

As a Parent: No More Comparisons

As a parent, I understand that my kids are unique in all possible ways, so there is no place for comparison. I will see to it that my kids have inspirations in life to learn from, but not to copy someone just to be like them for recognition, appreciation, or to have approval from society—the “you are a good girl” or “log kya kahenge” (what will people say) syndrome.

What I Hear Around Me So Often:

• “See that other friend of yours is such a good girl.”
• “See that child is so focused, why can’t you even sit in one place?”
• “Why are you crying like a girl when you’re a boy?”
• “You should do pooja and prayer every day so that Dadi will feel happy.”
• “What will people think? You don’t even know how to say a poem.”
• “If you say sorry, Mumma will give you chocolate.”
• “Don’t roam around the house without proper clothes, what will people think?”

My New Vocabulary:

I will shift my vocabulary from:

❌ “Don’t jump on the sofa, what will guests think?”

✅ “If you jump like this, the person who created the sofa has informed that springs might get loose.”

❌ “If you don’t touch guests’ feet, they will think you don’t have manners.”

✅ “This is one of the ways to welcome and show respect to guests that’s been followed in our family.”

I can always explain the reason behind an action. If the reason feels genuine to their heart, then they will follow things wholeheartedly.

Actually, I realized I already use this approach in a few areas, though not consciously. I never tell my child, “You should wash properly once you are done with potty so that people will feel you are a clean girl” or “You should brush properly for others.” For all day-to-day habits, I keep telling them that it will do good for them.

The Question About Skin Color

My focus will not be to tell them how good or bad other people will comment about them. I will keep my focus on making them understand: You should be the best possible you, with belief and clarity about why you are doing what you’re doing.

I still remember when my elder daughter Siya asked me with all her innocence at age 4, “Why is my skin color dusky like you and not fair like Papa? Why do relatives say I look like you and not like Papa?”

I answered her at that time, “God loved creating you like this.”

As I am writing this, I know exactly what to answer now: “Hey my little one! God believed that’s the best you. You are not like anyone. You are the best Siya.”

The Master’s Masterpiece

It’s exactly what my teacher explained:

“I am a masterpiece—my Master’s piece.”

I am irreplaceable in every way:

• As a mother
• As a wife
• As a professional
• As a student
• As a person in God’s kingdom

The way I am created, the way I look—it’s all unique. So I will see to it that the way I lead my life and play my roles will be irreplaceable.

Loving you, Lord Ganesha, for creating me as ME.